"Pain"

Just wanted to write a quick post about pain associated with this surgery.  Several women I know(including myself) have said that the fear of the pain of the surgery has prevented them from pursuing it.

Well, I am hear to say, it really shouldn't.  There are good reasons to choose not to have the surgery, but "pain" is not one of them. And the reason it is not a good reason is because there is hardly any (especially in comparison with the pain of living with large breasts).

For those of you who have breastfed a baby, this surgery is much less pain and discomfort than nursing.  Unlike nursing, you can take pain medication to help with any discomfort.  Also, the pain is all gone in a matter of week--not months.  So, be encouraged, if you have overcome that hurdle, you can easily get through this sort of ordeal.

Another good way to think about the "pain" you might feel with this surgery is that the "pain" which is really better described as "discomfort" is extremely temporary.  After a few short weeks of recovery, you will feel totally normal, even more so than before.  

So as you think about this surgery remember:

The pain and discomfort of large breasts is constant and lasts a lifetime.  Breast reduction discomfort only lasts a few weeks, and is soon forgotten in light of a new life.

Moments of Freedom: Privacy

It may seems strange, that a new found freedom of this surgery is privacy--especially in light of the fact that basically my breasts now have their own blog and that many of my conversations discuss my breasts and such.  However, it is true.  I now feel more...private in that area.  Let me explain.

A few weeks after the surgery I was helping prepare for Liam Davids birthday party.  I had errands to complete in the Bay Hills Shopping Center (a strip mall near my parents house).  As I walked form one store to the next I realized I would have to walk though a group of seedy looking men in order to get to my next stop.  As usual, I braced myself: "Just walk confidently, and keep your eyes straight ahead".  I usually do this kind of self talk to help me deal with the inevitable stares, and to avoid ANY mixed messages.  If you aren't careful, these types of characters will think that you enjoy their attention and desire more.

And as I passed, I could see in my peripheral vision that not one man was starring.  They didn't even notice me.  

I felt so free.

It is so freeing to not attract the attention of less then honorable men.  

It is even more freeing to not attract the attention of honorable men.  Before, my breast were so large that it would be difficult for any man, even the nice ones, to not look.  I could see it and sense it in church and small groups, good guys trying not to look.  I tried to make things less...attractive, but there is only so much a girl can do to disguise 5 lbs of breasts, you know?  I feel so much more comfortable and less distracting to the men I encounter.  Such a relief.

And because my breasts are no longer "out there" for everyone to see, they have become much more private and secretive.  I enjoy that they are now only for me and my husband, and not the shady men on the street.  So even though I may share lots of information about my breasts, my privacy is totally maintained in their new size and shape :)  It's fun to have smaller breasts.

Operation Freedom Q&A

Lately, I have received many inquires from friends and friends of friends who are considering breast reduction surgery. And I love it! I’m so glad other women are thinking about doing this! I love this surgery and what it has done for me and my family. Because of these positive life changes, I feel every large breasted woman should consider this surgery for herself. The following blog is a Q&A of real life questions interested women have asked me. Hopefully the answers will serve as an encouragement to any woman considering this for herself and her family.

Q: Did you have to have documented visits with the doctor about back pain, etc to get insurance to cover it? Did insurance cover it?
A: After we decided that we wanted to pursue the surgery, I made an appointment with my general physician to discuss the possibility. Also, we researched plastic surgeons and settled on Dr. Adam Basner. At the general physician appointment, she immediately agreed that I should have the surgery, and told me she have never had a friend or patient regret the surgery.
We called our insurance company to find out more details about coverage and our doctor etc. And like most calls to our insurance company, we couldn't get a straight answer. One person said, "It will be covered" another person said, "We will cover up to 1, 700". Ultimately the answer was they couldn’t say how much it would cost us until we were billed. Super.
We did more research and found that the average cost of this surgery was around $3,400, but that our surgeon charged $6,800 dollars. And, with a little more research, we found out that with this type of surgery, you get what you pay for. Therefore, we decided that even if we had to pay ALL $6,800, plus meds (not to mention travel) it would be worth it to get it done now and get it done right.
In the end, we haven't paid a dime for the surgery. That's right, even though we were prepared to pay for it in full--it was TOTALLY covered. What a HUGE answer to prayer.

Q: What other doctor appointments did you have to make?
A: I flew to MD for a free consultation with Dr. Basner. It was wonderful. He put me totally at ease and he and his staff assured me that I would greatly benefit from the surgery. At that appointment I was scheduled for surgery one month later. Also, I had a pre-op physical with my general doctor one week before surgery.

Q: What size did you start out?
A: At the time of the surgery, I was filling out an H cup. However, you by no means have to be THAT large to have a breast reduction. I know women who were a D cup who benefited from the surgery. It not just a reduction, but a lift as well. Hanging breasts, no matter how large can cause back pain and other unpleasant side effects. There is a certain amount that must be removed for some insurances to cover the procedure, but I was told it was such an insignificant amount that it isn’t anything to be concerned about. But definitely something to ask an insurance company about.

Q: What size did you end up?
A: Well, I'm not certain, cause I haven't gone new bra shopping yet (but I'm going on Sat). I asked to be a small C, but I think I may have ended up a full/large C. My doctor said he would try to get as small as possible, but ultimately he wanted to make me proportional. I honestly don't care what the cup size is, because they look AMAZING. They match and look totally natural—even more than before! NOTHING hangs down or burdens my shoulders. I am totally free.

Q: How will this effect breast feeding?
A: I am told that there is an 85% chance that I WILL be able to breastfeed. But from other research I’ve done, even if I can breastfeed, there is a very small chance that I would be able to breastfeed exclusively—meaning I would have to supplement with formula. I am kind of an all or nothing kinda girl, so I am getting used to the idea that I may have to formula feed my other babies. However, I want what is best and most healthy for my family (one of the reason I had the surgery in the first place), so I think at first I will try nursing, and if it is too much pain for me or not enough milk for the baby, we will stop. But obviously, I’m gonna have to cross that bridge when I get there. If anyone has helpful information about BFAR (breast feeding after reduction) let me know ☺!

Q: What was recovery like? How long were you in pain?
A: The pain and recovery process was really not a big deal. I set aside 3 weeks, which was plenty of time. I felt immediate relief after the surgery. I had the drains removed after two days. The stitches came out a week later. There was certainly some significant swelling and tenderness for the first two weeks. But, honestly, I found this experience to be less painful, and certainly shorter term than say breast feeding. Plus, with this you get to take pain medication.
On a side note, the only complication I had was that I discovered that I have an allergy to adhesive. So I was especially itchy from the surgical tape. But that cleared up quickly. That might have been the worst of it. Looking back, it wasn’t really a big deal at all. I would’ve endured much worse to have the life I have now.

Q: When could you start exercising after?
A: I started walking slowly on the treadmill a few days after the surgery. I was given permission to get back to my regular exercise (but not running) after two weeks.

Q: How did this effect your work?
A: I was not able to take care of Liam(1 yr. old and not walking) at all for the first week, as I would have had to carry him and such. I was staying with my mom, and she did a GREAT job taking care of him, and I was happy to get a break—surgery or not. I think, realistically, I could have resumed my job after two weeks—but I’m thankful I got three weeks of full recovery. If he had been a little younger or a little older, it would’ve been easier for me to return to work sooner—but he was so big, and strong, and dependant that it was better for a healthy Mommo to take care. Which of course, she loved. ☺ We are so blessed.

Q: What did your husband think and feel before the surgery?
A: My husband, Sam, was totally supportive of this whole process. I was clearly not the only one suffering from this. Although he’d never admit it, the strain on my back forced him to pick up some of the slack around the house. Also, he had to watch me be in pain, which he hated cause he loves me. Also, he suffered from the negative body image I had—he wants me to feel as beautiful as he thinks I am. Anyway, even though it meant no more huge breasts (which he loved), he felt it was worth changing for the greater health benefits.

Q: What does he think now?
A: Sam is COMPLETELY happy with the outcome of the surgery—and not just the health reasons. I look SO much better than before—it is a dream come for him and for me. I admit, he stares at me twice as much now—he can’t keep his eyes off. He says, “I loved your body before, but now… I mean, you look so much better!” Plus, I feel more lovely. So, everybody wins.
Also, I am able to exercise much more effectively now, so everything is just getting better and better. I am finally losing some of that pregnancy poundage, and feeling great! I would NEVER have been able to do it before—but more on that later.

Okay, so let me know if you have more questions! I really want to be a helpful resource to ANYONE who is considering this procedure—I am not shy, so no question is “too personal”. I’d love to help!

Moments of Freedom: Movement

About a week and a half after the surgery, I was walking in the treadmill, sporting a new sports bra underneath my tee shirt.  I had get off for a second to pick something off the floor when I noticed something different.  Something good. 

You see, before the surgery, I would always calculate the effort and inconvenience it would take to bend over to pick something up.  Effort, meaning to strain on my back.   Inconvenience meaning the likelihood of my bra strap slipping off my narrow shoulders, then having to hoist it back up again--additional effort.

As usual, I calculated.  Seeing as it was my water bottle I needed, I figured it was worth it.

Then it happened.  

Nothing.

There was no back strain.  My bra strap didn't slip--racer backs can't (I've never been able to wear this style before).

My eyes welled up with tears as  I moved my arms and torso in all directions with out ANY negative consequences.  I know it seems like a small thing, but it is huge to me.

I have been enjoying picking things up, like Liam, liberally without calculating and without the prior the effort or inconvenience.  Freedom indeed :)

Moments of Freedom: Folded Arms

For those of you interested in my recent operation, I thought I'd follow up with the additional freedoms I now enjoy with shorter posts called "Moments of Freedom"

Today: Folded Arms

Just four or five days after the surgery, I was happily chatting in the kitchen with my mother and sister. I noticed my body language didn't match the lighthearted mood of the conversation.  You see, I was crossing my arms.  Never in my adult life have I been able to casually and comfortably fold my arms across my body.   When I realized what I was now able to do, I'm sure I interrupted someone and said, "I apologize--I'm not really upset, but LOOK!  I can fold my arms!  This is so great!"

My mom promptly took my picture :)  

So if you see me somewhere, arms crossed or folded or whatever it's probably not because I'm upset.  It's because I can.  And that makes me a happy lady.

Operation Freedom: Before and After

Needless to say, we LOVE the results of the operation. I have LOTS to say about this experience, which I hope to write about soon. Right now, I am thankful to be home with my love, Sam, and am keeping busy unpacking and whatnot. Thanks for checking in with us!

Update

Today marks day 5 of my new freedom.  Things are getting better all the time.  

I will say, though, after my last update(on the day of the surgery) things got a little worse. Meaning, the pain was a little more intense and was accompanied by some nausea.  On Thursday I had the drains taken out(not painful).  On the way home my nausea increased, but after a brief bit of vomiting, and another does of Zofran, I felt much better and have been feeling better ever since.  I honestly don't remember much about these past 5 days, but I am encouraged by the way my body is healing--even though it itches like crazy!

I didn't have the courage to look when they took off the first dressing, but Sam and my mom did, and were both stunned by the results.  Apparently, everything looks perfect.  No bruising. No puffy swelling around the incisions.  Everything fair and balanced.  Needless to say, we are all very glad for our doctor who did such a great job.  My mom keeps saying, "It's like artwork.  Totally amazing!"  I look forward to Tuesday when the stitches come out--I plan to take a good look then.  

When I climbed into bed last night, I realized that not once in the past 5 days have I "had" to lay down because my back hurt.  It's just so wonderful to feel free of that burden.  It turns out that nearly 3lbs was removed from both breasts. My mother-in-law noted that that is the equivalent of 12 sticks of butter.  So, yeah, it's a lot of weight to not have hanging around anymore.  I am SO glad I can't even tell you.

Sadly, Sam had to return to FL today.  I am very sad about it. But I know there is a happy happy reunion just two weeks away. So, I look forward to that, while I enjoy the rest of my time here with friends and family.  Let me know if you want to hang out :)

Also, please feel free to ask me questions!  I'd love to give you some answers if I can :)

Thank you

Can you beleive it?  I had the surgery today, and I'm feeling great.  My doctor was right:  it is immeadeate relief.  I feel normal for the first time in my adult life.  My back keeps saying, "Oh, thank you, this is wonderful!"

Right now there is some soreness and tightness across my chest, but (with pain meds) it hurts no more than wearing a too-small-bra.  I am amazed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.  There is NO DOUBT in my mind that it is becasue we were bathed in pray that today went off without a hitch.  I am praising God for you and what he has done through you for me.  This really is a dream come true and a blessing from God.  

Keep praying and praising for us as I continue to heal.  I will update more details soon.

Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart (and back!)  :)

Thanks for visiting!

On Our Way

Right now we are packing like crazy getting ready to fly to MD tomorrow at 6am.  We are a little stressed right now, but are looking forward to our visit.  

If you pray, please pray for us these next few days.  Pray for safe and smooth travel.  Pray for these last two days leading up to the surgery.  Pray for me during surgery: 2/24/09 at 10am-12pm.  Pray for my recovery.

If you don't pray, please keep us in your thoughts.  Thoughts are very kind and powerful things, and I appreciate each one you have for us.

Thank you all, who have already been thinking and praying for this trip.  We look forward to keeping you updated through the recovery.  I don't imagine that I will be up to posting new blogs for at least a week, so I've been saving up some posts that I have scheduled to publish every few days until I'm able.  I hope you enjoy them :)

Getting Ready

After re-reading over this post and its comments, I am beginning to see that I may come across much differently than I had intended. I wanted this post to update, encourage, and inform. I now see that my words are unintentionally tinged with frustration and not with the care and understanding with which I wrote them. I appreciate questions and concerns--I really do--and know that they are fueled with the desire to understand. I didn't mean for my momentary frustrations speak louder than my helping heart. I apologize for the oversight that may have hurt the feelings of those who care for me and my family.

We are getting ready for our trip to MD for Operation Freedom! And I am super excited!
One of the things I was most worried about for the trip was the plane ride home. When we go on Sunday, Sam will be with us, but on our way back, it will just be the Lummer and I. On my last flight to MD I asked the flight attendant what would be the easiest way for me to travel with a one year old. She recommended that we bring his car seat just in case there is an extra seat--she said " Any flight attendant will go out of their way to make sure a baby is safe in their carseat. Plus," she added, "it will make the flight easier on him, you, and the rest of the passengers. Worst case scenario: there isn't a spare seat, you check the carseat, and hold him on your lap." So, we are following her advice, and bringing the carseat. From many previous travels with Liam, I also know that we need a stroller in the airport. I was nervous about hauling both stroller and carseat through the airports--it's just too much for one small person--especially if she's just had surgery. So, I did some research on the subject. I found many expensive solutions, but was not willing to pay the price just for this trip. However, God provides. While we were on our Sam's Club date two weeks ago, we spotted a collapsible hand cart that looked strickingly similar to the expensive airport solution I had found online. And it was only 23 bucks. We went home and thought about it, and returned the next day to see if it could work--and it did! I am SO SO SO thankful this worked out! Now, our car seat doubles as a stroller, and all I need to carry is my purse! It's the little details like this that help us to see God's hand in this process.



As the surgery has become a definite in our plans, and we began telling more people, I get three similar responses.
1st (my favorite): "I'm so happy for you! You are going to love it! I/my friend had one and it was the best decision ever."

2nd (the most common:) : "Do they do transplants!?" I respond, "Get in line." or "Believe me, it's not as fun as it looks." :)

3rd: "Really?! Why? You aren't that big. Aren't you scared? Are you going to be able to breastfeed?" This response is obviously the hardest to respond to. I usually try to explain the situation, because I know such comments come from a concern for my well being--which I appreciate. On my previous post I explain "Why", but for those of your who have these concerns, and for those who are considering this proceedure themselves, I would like to explain :)

"You aren't that big." It actually makes me feel proud when people say this. I may not look it to some, but I have spent many years practicing how to look smaller. Actually, I am THAT big. Reductions can be done on a woman who is a D cup. I am an H--which I jokingly say "H for Heather". Happily, I will be going to a C for Clement :)

"Aren't you scared?" Honestly, it is more scary for me to think of a lifetime with this burden than major invasive surgery. The pain of surgery is temporary, it WILL end and the burden WILL be gone. Think about it on a smaller scale: ear piercing. You can wear earrings with out getting your ears peirced, but it hurts when you wear them. It hurts a little more to have holes put in your ears, but only for a little while. Then the rest of your life you can wear earrings pain free. It's like that, only on a MUCH larger scale (in every way).

"Are you going to be able to breastfeed?" My doctor says that there is a 85% chance that I WILL be able to breastfeed. The odds are good, but not great. However, I was able to nurse my son for nine months. It was great. I'd love to do it again. But not with large breasts. That part was not so great. And as great a breast feeding is--which it is--there is no shame in bottle feeding your child. We are blessed to live in an age where it is possible for women who are unable to nurse to still feed their children in their own arms. You can still be a loving, nurturing mother, and use formula. Really. My mom did it. So, if my next child comes along and I need to supplement or use formula exclusively, I don't mind. I know he will enjoy all the picking up, holding, playing on the playground, and chasing around the house that I wouldn't otherwise be able to do, without the surgery. There are good things that are worth risking for greater things :)

While we are getting ready for the trip, I am also getting emotionally ready for the surgery. During my excitement and anticipation, it is important to keep the whole healing process in mind. That first week is going to be intense with many highs and lows. I understand that there will be a great deal of pain, and many moments I'm sure where I may question what I've done. Keeping this in mind before hand, I am told, will better prepare me for those moments of physical and emotional pain. My doctor reassured me that it takes about 1-3 months for total healing, and 1 year for the scars to fade. Sam and I have a birthday extravaganza planned for my 25th birthday, which is almost exactly 1 month after the surgery. So, there is lots to look forward to during the painful parts. I'll be sure to keep you updated as we go along :)

Thanks for visiting!

11 Months

Today Liam is 11 months old! Wowsers. In just one month he will be 1 year old. My how time does fly...and not fly. When I think about those last few weeks of pregnancy and his birth, they feel like 10 years ago. But, then, when I think about how fast he is growing up, these past 11 months seem like weeks. Time is funny like that. Anyway, he has been getting ready to be 1 year old by doing some big boy things. Like finding hims own snack. And sharing.

"Don't worry, Mom. I can get my snack. Jenny can have some too. Don't worry, I got it."

Also, picking out a DVD.
"Oops. They fell down."
"Oh dear. They are hard to pick up."
"I sorry, Mom. Could you help me?"


"I'm having a big boy snack on the Papa Chair."



"Papa, can I help you with your papers?"
"Maybe I could just use this little wheel..."

We are looking forward each day to our trip back to MD. It seems the closer it gets, the less we can imagine what it's going to be like. It seems almost too good to be true. I remember feeling this way about a year ago when we were waiting for baby Liam to come out. And that turned out even better than we'd ever dreamed. Hopefully Operation Freedom will have similar results. Whatever the outcome may be, we rejoice in this next step in our lives, taking comfort in the Lord's leading. Just 10 more days!

Operation Freedom

WARNING for PARENTS:  The following entry is about an upcoming breast reduction surgery.  While I aim to be tasteful and discrete, I would hate to offend anyone’s sensibilities and thus encourage you to review it before sharing it with your children.

  After much thought, research, observation, and prayerful consideration Sam and I have decided to pursue a breast reduction surgery for myself (of courseJ).  We’ve been thinking about for some time now, and feel that God has made a path for us in this direction, so we are taking it!  We thoroughly researched the surgery and doctors, and have decided to have it performed in Maryland by an extremely well qualified doctor.  A few weekends ago I flew to Maryland to have a consultation with the surgeon of choice, who assured me that I will “love this surgery”. Now that it has been scheduled and approved by insurance, I am delighted to share this happy news with the world.

To be quite candid, I am eager for this change, to say the least.  We are calling it “Operation Freedom” as we look forward to the freedoms it will bring to my life. For those of you who have had a breast reduction, or know someone who has, you may understand what I am talking about.  For those who are interested in the potential freedoms that motivate this decision, I am delighted to share.

           1) Freedom from pain and discomfort.  The physical burden of heavy breasts is quite obvious.  The sheer weight alone causes me neck and back pain.  The need to constantly wear a bra adds additional shoulder pain.  It may seem unbelievable, but this problem causes me constant physical discomfort.  My doctor assured me that this surgery will ease, if not eliminate, this pain.

 

2) Freedom to move and exercise.  This heavy burden of mine also limits my activities.  The pain certainly takes some of my daily energy, to be sure.  But more than that, the size and situation of my chest restricts my ability to exercise.  Any sort of impact causes me additional neck, back, and shoulder pain. There is no bra that can support and steady these unwieldy breasts so that I could run, jump, or even hop steadily without there being some negative repercussions to my body.  This surgery will give me the freedom to run and play with Liam when he is able, and maintain a healthy exercise regime.

 

3) Freedom to wear clothes.  My large bust causes struggles with my wardrobe.  It is extremely difficult to find clothes to fit attractively, so that I don’t look perpetually pregnant or like a loose woman.  If I try to fit clothes to my chest, they are much too large elsewhere, and if I try to fit them to the rest of me, my bosom screams out from beneath.  I like to maintain a decent sense of modesty, but I also don’t want to look frumpy either.  And that’s just outer garments.  Bra’s are even more challenging to find.  I have to special order them online for a pretty penny.  This surgery will not only give me the freedom to wear clothes that I feel comfortable in, but also to go to the Target and buy a bra for $12.99.  I can hardly wait!

 

4) Freedom to be myself.  For years my bustiness has exposed me to stares, rude comments, and unwanted attention.  More over, they cause me to look larger than I really am.  When I look at pictures of myself, I don’t feel like I am as large as I look.  Then, the way I look makes me think I am larger than I really am—if that makes any sense.  This thought cycle has spurred some serious body image issue in my past—issues that occasionally rear their heads in the present.  I realize that the surgery isn’t going to cure all body image issues I may have.  However, I do believe that the surgery will help me look and feel more comfortable in my body.  The surgery will give me the freedom to look the way I am, and simply be the way I am without needing to hide or disguise myself.  I can’t even begin to imagine what that is going to be like.  Such a freedom is a welcome blessing from God.

 

Like I mentioned before, now seems to be excellent timing:  Liam is weaned, I am not pregnant, insurance will cover it, plus we have supportive families who will host us and aid with recovery.  All the planning and preparation has gone so smoothly thus far, that we are becoming more certain that this is the path that God wants for us, as a family.  Ultimately, this surgery will give me freedom to take even better care of my husband and family—and I am so thankful.

  Operation Freedom is scheduled to begin with the whole Crew flying to Maryland on February 22^nd.  The procedure will take place on the 24^th as a two hour out-patient surgery(!).  Stitches will be removed a week after, and the doctor assures me by that time I will feel pretty normal—aside from some swelling that will take one month to fully go down.  Liam and I will remain in Maryland for three weeks after the surgery to recover and visit with family and friends.  We certainly have a LOT to look forward to!  If you are inclined, we do ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we wait for this process to begin.  We really appreciate it!

 We will keep you updated with further developments, if there are any.  Thanks for visiting with us!